Monday, April 11, 2011

C: Conference (/paper)

  1. Submit hastily crafted one-paragraph abstract of a paper that took you a year to write and that your seminar professor hated but suggested you submit to this conference cause maybe somebody can help you make it better.
  2. Forget that you submitted that abstract.
  3. Receive a hastily written email informing you that your paper has been accepted to the 17th Annual Conference on Literary Randomness.
  4. Have an "oh crap" moment when you realize that you just gave yourself more work to do.
  5. Forget about the conference until a month before it starts.
  6. Spend $1.5 million dollars on plane ticket and hotel room.
  7. Cut ten pages out of your paper, tweak here and there, and it's ready to go.
  8. Attend the conference, present your paper, receive some feedback, listen to 20 other papers, 1 of which is actually interesting, and fly home.
  9. Wait until you have one foot in the grave for your reimbursement check from the English department.
Sample sentence: Remind me again why I went to that conference.

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